It has been weeks since her life had been changed by an information that honestly, broke her heart. It was one cozy afternoon; when all she knew it will just be a normal day, she received the news that shook her world.
In an instant, all her dreams crumbled down. If only she could wake up and wish everything is just a horrible dream, she will. But she’s not in one. She’s fully awake. Though the pain did not sink that quickly, she knows she is in reality. All she hears are her sobs. Poor little thing, for one moment she’s happily in love. In a mere split second, she is left with facing the reality that her assumed love is not real. Everything is made up by someone who loves luring people with lies. And for the second time, she gave in.
Her world stopped. She has to face the truth. For four months she had been almost dreaming that happily ever after is at hand. Now, with the numbing pain that woke her up, she doesn’t really know how to face reality.
In people’s eyes, her situation is easy. She can just move on. Just like that.
But in the depths of her aching, once again, broken heart, no words could suffice; no advice could alleviate what she feels at that moment.
How could you face someone you thought loved you?
How could you look at someone who had been your world for the past few months?
How could you accept the fact that everything is but a lie when for the longest time you are all convinced that you are also important to someone?
It’s like undoing everything. It’s like teaching an adult to learn French and telling him to unlearn speaking English. And English had been his mother tongue.
What worsens everything is that, the boy is not someone she can just avoid easily. They share the same world. He is where she always is.
And every now and then, she can’t escape the truth that she can’t avoid seeing him being close to someone else.
For the past she had seen everything in cotton candies and nothing but sweetness. And now, she has to fight the bitter view of the truth. He is with someone else.
She tried to be strong; to act like one, at least. But at the end of the day, like a fuel that would ran out in a car, she found her bravery dripping until it totally ran out. She was again left with the horrible pain. Like her bravery’s a wall, and at the end of the day, it will all totally crumble down. And again she had been left with pain, more and more of pain.
For so long she had been like that. And now, she made up her mind. Though her system would not agree, she decides to look at things the right way in which it should be seen. She decides to look at things through love, through the eyes of God.
Yes she can’t avoid them, no she wouldn’t hide, and she’ll face them. Yes she still feels the pain, no she won’t curse anymore, and she’ll fight everything in a mind over matter manner. It is just a change in perspective. It is just a change in the way she thinks. And she’s more powerful than her emotions and feelings for she has a God who defeated what tries to defeat her today.
She’ll focus on the Lord; all eyes on the One who on the nth time saved her from the danger she blindly walks to. She’ll look at people in the way that God would look at them. In the way of love, patience, peace, at most especially, forgiveness.
No she can’t change things but she decides to change the way she looks and thinks at things.
For it is hard to look at our fallen world with love but as we are once rotten and nearly useless, God looked at us with that utmost love and forgave us. For that is real bravery; to forgive someone, to forgive herself.
She decides to never again live her life miserably. So long as the sun shines and sets, her hopes will be on the Lord. So long as the wind touches her, she’ll treat everyone lovingly. So long as God let her heart beat, she will love.
She’ll be free as the wind. Today she decides to unload the heavy bags she’d carried.
She’ll let God complete her. She’ll let Him have His time till He decides to bring her to her rib owner.
She’ll be contented and she’ll be filled with the love of the Lord. The love that continuously heals her. The love that no one else could provide but God alone.
9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9-10)
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