Enjoying Singleness

Funny that my background music while typing this post was “Love is Waiting” by Brooke Fraser. Pero sa tingin ko tama lang naman. Or, I just love its melody. Whichever it is, let us ponder singleness this time. As we wait on God for His best for us, I would like to share my side and might as well inspire single people out there to never think singlehood as something scary. I also wanna share the journey that I am currently in as well as some testimony of what God had done to me during the darkest nights of my curiosity and broken hearted moments.

I am single for 21 years now. Haha. Ok let me get it straight, I never had an official boyfriend. I had M.U.’s though. (M.U.-mutual understanding minsan magulong usapan, madalas mag-isang umiiibig. XD) I had three of those tiring M.U.’s. Aside from its meaning above, M.U.’s are a strange and a should-never-be-tried form of relationship. It doesn’t involve commitment though the persons involve are sweet to one another and would even treat the other as his/her boy/girl friend. Again, no commitment involved. No strings attached. Should-never-be-tried because it’s emotionally, physically, financially, and most of all, spiritually tiring. You can’t demand time and attention and you just enjoy the sweetness, the surge of emotions that will eventually drain you out. 

And I had been there. Thrice. Imagine how drained and broken hearted I was. Before.

The story didn’t end there. I also had the history of chasing for love. Imagine, my M.U.’s never lead to a serious relationship. Meaning, the guys involve didn’t court me. So, walang nanligaw sakin, at ako pa ang naghabol. All of this lowered my self-esteem. Minsan tinatanong ko sarili ko kung pangit ba ko. Tumitingin ako sa salamin, waring inaapuhap kung meron man lamang ba akong angking ganda. Hahaha. Lalim. 

That was me before. I never knew love. And my wrong relationships and attitude towards love worsened everything.

Till He came. No He’s not prince charming. He is more than that. 

He is the King of Kings. The God of the Universe. The God of All. The Almighty God.

He saved my broken heart through Jesus Christ.

Can we safely say everything turned up easily fine? Actually, no.

And it is not because of Christ. It’s because of me. He’s offering me love, which I thought I already accepted, but to my surprise I hadn’t still. For I had been rebellious for quite some time and I had keep on re-opening the wounds He had already mended.

How? My last M.U. happened when I was already a Christian. A third blow of heart break. And this was the most painful. The guy is also a Christian and during those times, I am at ease and confident that I am equally yoked. 

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14)

But Jesus was persistent on saving me. (He really love me that much. :”>) It was the most painful kasi akala ko nasa tama na ko. Confident ako. And wala na sigurong sasakit pa pag sinabi sayo na hindi pa pala siya. We end up hurting one another.

I realized I was unequally yoked all along. Because it is never enough that the guy/lady is a Christian. The two of you should be on the same level of faith and with the same God-given purpose and mission in life. I am not saying the guy is not faithful. He is a Christian. He is devoted in his own convictions. But we have different calling, purpose, and mission. And I strongly believe there is someone for him who has the same calling, purpose, and mission as God has for him.

I had been in a juggle of battles when it comes to relationships. At ang ipinagpapasalamat ko lang talaga ay, Jesus never gave up on me. He is there at all times of my wandering. He had been so patient on me. So patient for me to see the reasons why He ended all of my wrong relationships. So patient for me to see His purposes for my life. So patient for me to realize I should enjoy singlehood first. Enjoy it first with Him. Solely with Him. And at the right time, His time, He would lead me to my man; His man. J

Jesus had been showing me love, each and every day. Funny thing is, I keep on searching and hopelessly waiting for someone when I could just wait on God and enjoy every moment that comes into my life. Kaya naman, right now, I am officially single. Wala nang M.U. Wala pang manliligaw. As I look at the mirror, I am amaze by how great God is. I believe I am beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. J I am not ugly. I am enough. I am worthy. All my life I had been listening to the enemy’s lies. Which I believe is one reason why God doesn’t want me to be in a relationship first. I had a wrong perception of myself. At ito ang isang bagay na inaayos Niya saakin.

Yes. Inaayos Niya tayo para perfect talaga para sa taong nakatalaga for us.

I am officially single. And I am not lonely. I have terrific brothers and sisters in the Lord. I have a great leader who can help me with my growth with Christ. Of course, I have Christ. :) What’s fun about singlehood is that, I’ve got to treat everyone equally and purely. And most importantly, I’ve got to focus on the ministry of discipleship. My calling, purpose, and mission. :)

And I wanna be satisfied more on His love. I want to seek Him, know Him, feel Him more and more each day. Dahil Siya lang ang makakasatisfy. Siya lang ang makakapuno ng love sa mga puso natin na matagal na nating hinahanap sa maling relationships, family, career, material things, and vices.

Gusto ko kami lang muna ng Lord at gulatin nalang Niya ko balang araw na dumating na pala yung Partner ko at ready na kaming dalawa.

Maturity is essential to relationship should it be lasting. And that maturity is not only physical, emotional, or financial, but most of all, it should be spiritual. How is your relationship with the Lord? Bago ka maghanap or humiling ng taong para sayo, dapat puno ka muna ng love ng Lord.

And I promise, you will feel the contentment and joy kahit nasaang season ka man ng buhay mo.

Enjoying her singleness,

Misael <3

With my single, and not so single, sisters in Christ. Ate Mai (green striped blouse and black skirt), Meriam (blue shirt and denim pants), Me (white blouse with brown laces and black skirt), and Eula (green and blue printed dress)